Reciprocal Damage
by The Blatantly Obvious
Summary: “The icy tiles on the bathroom floor numbed my hands as I ogled the sickness defiling my hair. I would sit here until it desiccated, and the resulting knots would serve as a reminder that I do not deserve to be clean.” Better summary inside.


**Alrighty. This is a story that I've wanted to write for a while. It's about Rosalie struggling with unrequited love for Edward as a sophomore in high school. The fact that he doesn't return her feelings kills her self-esteem and some of her coping mechanisms are destructive. Emmett is the loving best friend who tries to help her win what quickly turns into a full-blown battle against herself. I know that these characters aren't exactly used often as mains in fics but I figured they needed a turn to feel the love.**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of the characters from Twilight. Stephenie Meyer does and I'm not going to mess with that because she's slightly frightening.**

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**_----Rose POV----_**

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck…_

My thoughts were incoherent as I slid the last few inches down into the splits. I wondered if any of the other girls in the room were starring at our cheerleading coach's middle-aged face and wishing the dysfunctional bitch would burst into flames. She needed to suffer some payback for all the burning that had been going on in my thighs lately. It seemed like I would never be in good enough shape to get through one of her practices pain free.

Across the room, Tanya, Kate and Irina were doing every exercise with perfect form. All the while managing to keep carefree smiles plastered on their flawless faces. They were the focal point of the cheerleaders and no one could deny it. In fact, it was as if their perfection generated rays of light that mesmerized anyone who happened to glance in their direction. Everything about them made me nauseous. Behind the idyllic facade, all three of them were beyond bitchy, completely devoid of any form of appealing personality and seemed to have the combined intelligence of a drunken lemming.

My hatred for Tanya was particularly ferocious. How was it that someone whose only vaguely positive attribute was her looks could effortlessly manage to possess everything I want? Apparently society really is as hopelessly vain as they say. I couldn't lie though. I really did envy her luscious, wavy strawberry-blond hair and the way her clothes always flattered her flawless figure. Nonetheless, I would never tell anyone that the reason I loathed her was jealousy. As far as their perception is concerned, I'm completely and utterly self-confidant and thus, I have no reason to be jealous of anybody.

"Alright girls, you can take a break," said Ms. Carson, our overly peppy coach, as she strutted towards the door, "I'll be back in five with the music for our new routine!"

_A break? Thank God._ If you asked me why I was part of the cheerleading squad, I honestly couldn't tell you. I hate it. I have hundreds of things that I'd rather be doing with my time. Maybe I just joined so that I could say I'm a cheerleader and impress people, or maybe it was because my arrogant mother expected it. But whatever the initial reason had been, it no longer applied. And the only thing that was keeping my here was the knowledge that Jessica and Lauren would murder me if I quit.

"Hey Rose," Jess said as we moved from the splits into more comfortable cross-legged positions on the hardwood floor. "Do you think my strapless red dress would look better with my sliver shoes or your black ones?"

"Obviously the black," Lauren cut in snootily She wasn't someone who could keep her mouth shut when she felt strongly about something. And she was completely oblivious to the fact that sometimes people's questions aren't directed at her.

"You can borrow my black shoes anytime you want Jess," I said with a smile.

"Just 'cause Mike's party's coming up in a couple weeks and I want my outfit to be perfect." It was painfully obvious that Jessica liked Mike. Her expression went all dreamy whenever his name was mentioned. Personally I couldn't see anything remotely attractive about the guy, but she was really hoping that something would happen between them at his field party and I wasn't about to interfere. In the case of Lauren and Jessica's conquests, I'd learned that it's best to keep my oppinion to myself.

"Jess, you're pathetic, he probly doesn't even know who you are." That was the other thing about Lauren. She has the tendency to be mean, and unfortunately I'm often the one left to clean up after her brutal honestly. Thankfully, this time it looked like Jess could handle things herself.

"Shut up Lauren. He totally knows me. You're jealous."

"Yeah. Riiight," Lauren drawled sarcastically, "I'm definitely jealous that you and Rose have such one-sided love lives. I wish I could spend my days obsessing over people I've barely talked to." My stomach turned when she said that. _How could she know?_

I tried to sound casual as I said, "Whoa, since when am _I_ obsessing over someone?"

Jess and Lauren both looked at me and giggled.

"C'mon Rose, it's obvious that you like Edward. The way you stare at him and go all giggly when he talks to you and then act like such a bitch to Tanya." I swallowed hard. _Damn_

"Quite frankly, I dunno why you'd bother with him when you have Emmett as a best friend. That boy is fuckin' built." Added Lauren. I'd never thought of Emmett as anything more than a friend but she, and probably a hundred other girls in the school, had a weird fascination with him. This amused me because he despised Lauren and she didn't have a fraction of a chance with him. Not that she'd ever dare to ask Emmett out on account of her sickening on and off relationship with Tyler Crowly.

I figured I better try to cover my ass. "Seriously guys, I dunno what you're talking about. Edward's taken, and only a total asshole would go out with Tanya so why would I even think about going after him?"

Jess and Lauren giggled again. Clearly I wasn't very convincing.

"Whatever Rose, don't talk about if you don't want to, but Lauren and I aren't stupid." Jessica actually gave me a look of pity when she said that. It made me want to punch her. There was no way I was going to be seen by my friends as the loser that goes after guys she has no chance with. _Jeez._

"Okay then. Um…speaking of Emmett. Have you guys memorized the routines for the football game tomorrow?" Lauren asked.

"Oh yeah, I'm excited for that! I think we're gonna be really good!" Jess enthused. "And maybe some of the guys on the other team will be worth looking at."

"Hopefully," I said "'Cause all the guys at _this_ school are either jerks or hideous."

Jess and Lauren looked at each other and smirked. They really weren't going to give this Edward business up.

We kept up a casual banter for the next fifteen minutes until Ms. Carson finally came back with the music. She had a habit of leaving the room and not returning until way later than she said she would. I looked up at the clock and saw that it was 3:58. Practice would be over in two minutes and we wouldn't get to learn the new routine after all. That made me smile.

"Okay girls, it looks like we're out of time for today. We'll have to start the new routine next practice!" Ms Carson somehow managed to sound happy even when she was disappointed about what she was saying. "Bring your uniforms tomorrow, we'll be boarding the bus right after school!"

Everyone hurried to the change room. I got ready to leave fairly quickly and once I'd said my goodbyes to Jess and Lauren I rushed out the door.

My heart was instantly in my mouth. Edward was leaning against the wall a few feet in front of me. His face lit up as Tanya approached him from the side, a pair of lulu lemon pants showing of her grossly pretty little ass. He took hold of her hands and pulled her close to him. Then she smiled as he mumbled something and kissed her softly on the lips.

My ribcage seemed to be constricting my internal organs and I felt like I was going to suffocate. I thought of all the intelligent conversations I'd had with him in history class, I thought of the nicest things he'd ever said to me and I thought of how amazing he is. Not just attractive but also smart and polite and romantic. I wouldn't realize it until later but my eyes had started to water. _How could he like her? Why isn't that me with him?_

I took a deep breath and realized that I'd been standing in the same place staring at them for over a minute. I quickly turned away and started to walk quickly down the hall. I was supposed to meet Emmett after his football practice and I needed to pull myself together. The state I was in now was embarrassing.

"Gihh!!" I squeaked, as I almost ran into somebody. I guess I'd been staring at the ground. A massive hand came to rest on each of my biceps and I looked up to see Emmett's massive teddy bear face.

"Rosie, are you alright?" The concern in his voice instantly made me feel a little better. At least there was someone left who cared.

_**----Em POV----**_

In the dressing room after practice, I tore my shoulder pads off with the utmost violence. I'd never been particularly gentle with my possessions. Not that I really wanted these shoulder pads to be associated with me at all, as they always smelt like they'd just died. I pulled a clean t-shirt over my head, slammed the locker shut, grabbed my bag and headed for the door.

Tyler shoved into me along the way, "Hey, man! You're acting like you're on fuckin' speed or something. S'everything alright?"

"Yeah yeah for sure. Just in a hurry to get home," It was the truth. Sort of. I met Rose after practice every Tuesday and was always pretty excited to see her. Football was awesome, but time with Rosie trumped everything. We'd been friends for years and could carry on the most epically gripping conversations about nothing and everything at the same time. She knew every embarrassing detail about me and vice versa. Plus, whenever she walked into the room my mood improved immediately.

I slammed the gym door and started down the hall to the dance studio. To my surprise Rose was already rushing towards me. She didn't even notice I was there because her gaze was so focused on the ugly tile floor. My stomach twisted. Her body language told me something was wrong and it killed me to see her upset like this. I really hoped it wasn't about Edward and that Tanya chick again. I didn't get why she cared so much about them. Actually that's a lie. I knew that she liked Edward. I just wished that she didn't.

'_Cause he's an asshole and I'd be so fucking much better for her._

_No. Just fucking no. You don't want her. _I'd been spending way too much time trying to convince myself that lately. Rose was beautiful. She didn't realize it but she was amazing. If I weren't so paranoid about ruining our friendship, I'd have asked her out a thousand times by now. I wish I had a way to show her that she has no reason to be jealous of Tanya and that Edward just doesn't know what he's missing out on. But she's obsessing over them almost constantly now and nothing I say reassures her.

"Hey Rosie," I said. She was either ignoring me or didn't hear my greeting over her raging inner turmoil. She kept walking until she stepped directly onto one of my feet.

"Gihh!!"

I smirked at the cute little noise she made, but when I saw her empty eyes and running mascara I knew that things were worse than I thought. I wanted to hold her. I wanted to wipe away her tears. I wanted to make everything okay again.

Instead I grabbed her upper arms a bit too hard and brusquely asked her if she was all right. _Brilliant. You're such a fuckin' ladies man. How could she not love you._

She swallowed hard. Her last ditch efforts to pull herself together were evident, "Yeah I'll be fine in a second," Her voice cracked and my heart broke a little, "Fuck Em, this is so pathetic." She tried to smile and my heart broke some more.

I pulled her into a bear hug. Her hair always smelt like raspberries and freesias. For the millionth time in my life, I resisted the urge to bury my face in it.

She pulled away much too soon. "C'mon let's get out of here." But at least she looked a little happier as we started to walk towards the exit door. "Was your jock session good today?" She smiled sincerely at me, eyes still glistening a bit from tears.

I put an arm around her shoulders and smiled back. "The best."

She giggled, "Glad to hear it. You up for a milkshake before we go home or will it ruin your ultimate fighter physique?"

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